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[degringolade]

Talked with Mike last night.  This is nearly always a good thing. 

As always, got me thinking sideways.  We had our talks about Girard and Shopenhauer, I have been reading Clausewitz and Sun Tzu and plowing through other works and thinking way too much about creating a syncretic model that can differentiate the world as it is and the world that I theorize.

I should have been doing this my whole life, but I spent time doing a lot of other different things to keep myself occupied.   Raising young men takes some time, science eats away at your time to do the task, school is usually wasted on a callow youth, the military life does not usually lead to introspection.

So you have to wait until later.  When the needs of the world don't press so hard on you you can finally take the time.  Which is unfortunate, because when you finally have that precious time, what ends up happening is that you waste a lot of time trying to rationalize your past actions. 

But then you get over it, and you can put down your scales of judgement and forgive yourself the less-stellar decisions of the past, realizing most of the bad decisions were one (or both) of either of the "it seemed like a good idea at the time" or "choosing between bad choices".   Of course, there is always the occasional "I can't believe that I was that fatuous" thrown in for good measure.

But even late, the idea of reconciling the phenomenal world with the mystic is really the only worthy goal.  Because, in the end, only the soul matters.