I Must Confess

[degringolade]

On the whole, getting out on the town offers me much.  It allows me to connect with people and, even more importantly, define what I need from my interactions with the people who have become important to me after all these years of denying them access.

Last night was a bullshit with buddies night, I am thinking that life is pretty good on the whole, and the evening a big success, with good music in the background and pretty girls to look at (side note:  Pretty girls for me are the 40-60 crowd).

I think that I need to go back to my roots.  I am listening to the prophet Jimmy Buffett.  I am thinking that when I lived down on 11th West in SLC with Steve Madden was the last time I was free.  That was forty years ago.

Addendum:

Following this little adventure, I think that I ventured out too soon and went to see the great little Dead Knockoff Band with A.  Well, yet another lust dashed and friendzone established.  The fucking story of my life.

I still realize that I have to get out.  I still realize that I wouldn't mind being in a relationship.  I have work to do before these things can happen.  But last night painfully reminded me of my abysmally high friendzone quotient.  The truth of the matter is that the painful dataset that seems to points out that:

1. women that I want/need usually aren't attracted to me and
2. women who are attracted to me are not usually what I want/need.

Shit